peaceseeker63 (love your nick, btw!)

Shame has been handed over from one generation to the next in my family as well.. My mother's father was a violent alcoholic, and from what my mum has told me, it's obvious the whole family was ashamed of his illness.. And their unwillingness to discuss the issue has kept their shame alive to this day. My dad, on the other hand, never knew or was told about his own father and grew up with his distant mother and her parents. I'm sure he carries inside him a lot of shame he never talks about..

I really want the dysfunctional family legacy to end with me! If I ever have children, I don't want them to ever have to feel ashamed of themselves..

I agree with you completely on this. What I find hard is not taking rejection in the present day in the same way I took it when I was a child - as a message telling me I'm not good enough, or that I'm bad somehow.. I'm so afraid of that shameful message that I hardly ever dare open up to people in 'real life'..