Quote:
Originally Posted by AzulOscuro
Hi there!
I have not a lot of experience in heart matters but I will give you my opinión.
As avoidants we crave for human contact, specially for a soulmate. This need makes us enjoy contact moments much moré than normal people. As a drug effect.
When you see or believe to see a distance between you and that girl, your mood falls down in a deeper way than normal people.
You are very young and you will have moré experiences like this so what can you do? It's easier saying than doing it. Try to approach these situations in a more rational way. I know it's very hard but you have to try it.
Said that, you have to look for illusions in little things such us, the well you are doing your work, the nice you are being with your coworkers or strangers...so your confidence and happiness won't depend on a single person.
Now, you are free to tell me "go to hell". Lol! I know it's difficult love is marvellous.  |
I've managed to rationalize it
.
She wasn't playing with me... I was playing with her. In fact I've been unknowingly playing with girls my whole life. When I say "playing", I meant "eye contact/body language only flirting". I've always felt anxious around girls I like and I always went for eye contact. Never ever leading to anything else.
There was a girl I felt the need to do this with, but she didn't notice me. Two years later, she gave me a bunch of signals that she is single and that I can approach. Suddenly I wasn't interested in her.
During a New Year's Eve party at my friends apartment. I did this with a girl I wasn't attracted to (I didn't know why at that time, I just did it). A couple of days later she told my friend she is interested in me. He then told me ... twice. Both times I just ignored his words.
It's as if I am doing this because I enjoy it, but I am scared of going forward. Whenever a girl showed me she is interested, I've always managed to find a reason why us being together is not possible. Me being not good enough is the biggest reason.
Edit: Now I feel fine. I realize that I also have a certain power over other people (I've always felt like they have all the power over me).