I find myself wishing you had waited to say to your pregnant ex-girlfriend that you did not love her. It isn't good for an expectant mother to be stressed, they are finding that out more and more now, as the stress hormones are not good for the fetus. Also when a woman is pregnant she feels vulnerable enough already.

As far a the X girl with a child and on and off with an abusive father of her child, just know that once a child is in the picture, that abusive person is going to be connected to her and can put a strain on your relationship with her if you so decided to connect with her. AND, if your pregnant girlfriend ends up with someone you don't like, tough, your child will have to live with a man that is not her real father. Wait until the child is born and begins to be a little person, you say you love her already, well that can be a lot more when she is in your arms and calling you daddy and hugging you.

When one becomes a parent they can't just be thinking about themselves. A human child is a huge commitment.