I have felt this way before but I used to fall back on drugs or alcohol and have since stopped both. I was only diagnosed about 6 months ago so I don't know all the terminology or how to describe the state I'm in but I know I need help. I was put on Depakote ER, from 1000, 1500, then 2000mg until I felt like it was making me feel worse then I did before and I stopped going to the pysch which now know was a mistake. She didn't seem to care one way or the other when I was going and I felt very unimportant to her. I don't know how I feel. It's so hard to describe any of this for me, so frustrating. Right now, I'm super low and confused and hopeless. I know I need treatment and to be medicated but I also have to function. Where do you start when looking for a pysch who wont just ask how you feel and give you script and on to the next sucker? Where do I start?