I'm sorry you're feeling so down. I know it sucks.
I can't /won't go to my husband for support. Any problem I have, he pretty much blows it off. That's if he even listened in the first place.
I never had any friend or relative that I could talk to either. Finally started therapy abot 13 yrs ago. Took years to learn to trust the therapist.
It may be a small consolation, but at least you have this forum to vent and hopefully get feedback. Hope you're doing better!