Don't feel bad for talking about it, Gemstone. That's the purpose of the forum!
I'm also always felt rather uncomfortable about sex, though for different reasons. I've also done a lot of "faking," though not with my last relationship. The fella was very good and the sex was awesome for me. It was a brief relationship, 3 years ago, ending with his rejecting me. Since then, I haven't allowed myself to have sexual thought!
Basically, as I've said here before, I think I equated sex with love. Since you are with your husband, it sounds promising for you, that you can gradually learn to relax and enjoy yourself.
Love,
Patty