Hi there,
Not sure if this 'replying' thing is working right! I was wondering how you got on with the letter. I wrote to my stepfather a year ago saying what I remembered, nicely, and received a torrent of abusive emails over the next year. I detached, ignored. Eventually he tried to reconcile recently, pretending we were both hurt and should try again. I blocked him and raised it with my mother. He used to beat her viciously which she never denied before but now she is denying it. She told me I dreamed it. It was so surreal I felt disorientated and unreal, and over the course of the day begun questioning the reality of everything. Today I feel normal again, and I know that what happened happened. I am still struggling to believe that she has tried to make me believe my memories are false, when I have never forgotten the incidents since the time they happened. I am struggling too to realise that she is as bad as him, and as dishonest as all the other abusers I hear about. I had avoided knowing this by never challenging her. It's hard. I also had negative therapist experiences, except one who was nice but didn't do more than be kind. A good number did more harm than good.
All the same I am considering studying therapy and specialising in children of narcissists and psychopaths. So I will have to find a decent one for my training!
I hope it all went ok,
Sintrepid
PS I love your little wishbone phrase