Thank you very much for your kindness. I know that was kind of a ramble, but it makes me feel better to know someone cared enough to read my superlong and upset flood of emotions. The only person I can talk to is my ex and I want to keep my distance for the moment and wait to speak under counselor supervision so a talk doesn't become everyone feeling bad or manipulation. I just got to be cautious. This behavior is nothing like him. Thanks for lovey hugs!