Being afraid and mistrustful is not bad or cowardly. Feelings of fear are there to alert us to possible danger. When someone has a history of trauma, these feelings can pop up when they're not really warranted. Also, traumatized people sometimes learn to disregard or second-guess these alarm bells, leading themselves to (or leaving themselves in) dangerous situations. From my perspective, you are right to feel mistrustful of your T, and the fear makes sense as a basic instinct.

I like Pete Walker's idea of the "4 Fs" as trauma-related responses: fight, flight, freeze, and fawn. It sounds like you expected to be in fight mode, but shifted into fawn mode. Maybe this will be helpful:
Pete Walker, M.A. Psychotherapy

I will reiterate that I think your therapist has too many of her own issues, and that she is not the right T for you. If I went in and railed at my T, I doubt that she would paraphrase it as me "telling her that she's ****." And if she did, she'd simply follow up by telling me that I must be very angry, and encourage me to tell her more. This is the reason I can trust her and bring anger into my sessions-- and that took a long time of consistent responses from her before I could do that. So I suggest again that a consistent T who knows how not to take things personally is what would benefit you.