Okay, let's say for a moment that you demand, demand and demand in your relationships--family relationships, close personal relationships and it's played out in your therapeutic relationships. Yes, that is something you need to know about yourself and work on . . . But working on it means working on it with a well-trained, well boundaried, consistent and unflappable therapist. AND that is definitely not this current therapist!

She is poorly trained, all over the place with setting boundaries, shaming, easily influenced by the emotional upheaval you experience in the therapeutic setting and just plain lacking in self-awareness about her own influence/impact on her clients in the consulting room. And to make matters worse, when she screws up, she doesn't owe up to her part in the problem; instead, she piles the blame on her client and makes the client feel like crap! Believe me, I truly believe that it is important that we all hear about the impact our behavior has on our therapists. This is part of our journey and the way we begin to make changes to improve relationships. But the time to do that exploration is not directly after the therapist makes a MAJOR therapeutic mistake .. . something your therapist did when she reacted in anger to your anger.

If she was a well trained therapist she would have spent this session with you hearing what you had to say, owing up to her mistake and then exploring with you in depth where you wanted to go from here. It would have even been okay if she did the first two things with you and then admitted honestly and genuinely that she was in over her head professionally and would do whatever she could to help you connect with a new therapist and would support you the best she could until that connection was made. She's the professional, IG, not you. You're the client with a lot of learning and growing that needs to happen, but that learning and growing isn't going to happen with the professional coldly pointing out how YOUR behavior impacts on her and CAUSES her to act unprofessionally. Sure your behavior might trigger countertransference in a therapist, but a well trained therapist takes personal note of that, doesn't act on it and takes it to their next peer supervision group or supervisor. Your therapist has done NONE of those things. This is on her, IG, not you.

Gotta say again, I sure hope you're not going to continue going to this woman and paying her your hard earned money and offering up your psyche for her to rip to shreds.