ive decided things are so bad now im thinking of going back to docs and going back on anti depressants. i was on some a few years ago and it did nothing for the depression but made me feel worse physically and stopped me from sleeping though i was tired all the time. it also made me think and do some strange things (nothing really really bad but i wasted a load of money on some really strange things etc, things i couldnt understand afterwards)

i dont know if they will put me back on the same 1 (sertraline) or a different 1. im just scared about how it will effect me, especially if its a different 1. i was always against anti depressents because i heard all the horror stories of them and not a fan of meds anyway. i was pretty much forced to go it last time and i just gave in. now im desperate. i feel like crap all the time and im downright SICK of it, something needs to happen, i need to try something

i have no idea what the point of writing this was. i think im just really worried about it. if its the same 1 as last time then nothing disasterous happened, but that would be pointless since it didnt help with the depression. if its something else i dont know what effect it will have on me and i think my main fear is been out of control and doing things i would never do normally. thats whats bothering me (and whats been putting me off) but i really need to do something and this is all i can do...

also i did the test on here and it came back as severe depression + i didnt really think it was that bad