IG, the game of therapy is set up as an uneven field. The client has all the problems and questions, has most of the exposure. The therapist (often) plays the role of expert, makes the rules, holds the answers, decrees the interpretations, defines the narrative. What is represented as like intimacy is extremely time limited and very engineered.

No wonder therapists can be intimidating.

In truth, with some exceptions like the classroom, the workplace and the legal system, no adult has any authority or supremacy over another adult. No one is a Life Expert. No one has the answers or determines the narrative in an interpersonal scenario.

I know some very strong competent adults who relate to their therapists like whimpering puppies.

From everything you've told this board, getting what you want from this woman, getting her to admit her errors is an impossible mission. You tried and tried. As many have told you, that only leaves you taking care of yourself and cutting the cord.

My therapists were extremely arrogant, righteous characters. Even when the psychologist saw my complaint, in writing, several years later, he insisted on his blamelessness.

That kind of relationship certainly is "unfair." It leaves the client to unravel the knot on atop of the original issues that prompted getting treatment.

The good news: I learned more from disengaging from bad therapy than from ethical therapy. You talk about your strength and surviving, and which gives me the clear sense you'll emerge here.