Hi All,

New guy, first time on the boards etc,etc.

I'm not even sure if this is the right forum so i'll take it on the chin if I need to take this elsewhere.

My wife and my teenage (step) daughter (14) have been at it like cat and dog for over a year now. On each occassion the daughters boundary pushing gets a little worse. The last out burst concluded with her running away from home.

After a long conversation with her ex last night, my wife found out that her daughter (who lives a pretty damn good life and wants for nothing) bad mouths her mother from the moment she arrives at her dads for her access weekends. He tells us she pretty much doesnt stop until she leaves. SHe says some pretty terrible things and if only half of it were true (which it is not) it would make your hair stand on end.

Anyway, the point (and there is one) is finding out all this stuff has cut my wife to the core and pushed her to the edge. She tells me today that she is at the point where she just wants to pack our daughter bags and tell her to go live with her father. Surprise, surprise, he doesnt want her.

My poor wife is in such a state and so hurt that she is now seriously questioning her worth as a mother and person. She tells me she is thinking about leaving (all of us) because she is obviously a bad mother, bad wife and doesnt want to damage our other children. She was sobbing her heart out when she told me, she thought this was the only way to stop this happening with our other kids (7yr old twin girls).

I want to support her through this but have no idea where to start. I have told her that if she needs to pack a bag and go away for a few days or even weeks, we'll make that happen.

I hope this was the right thing to do. I wanted to beg her to stay but I know this would be about me and not about her.

When the daughter was confronted ,she said she like the fact that mum lived with the uncertainty of her going to her fathers or running away. When mum thought this might happen she backed off of her about things like homework, boys, chores etc.

Any views would be appreciated.