I was hesitant to take anti-depressants. In fact, I feel like I am on too many medications as it is. But I figure that if the ant-depressants and medications help me function it is best for me to just take them and accept it.

I would say that if you are feeling this bad it is time to go to the docs and get help. You are worth it. They may try you on a medication that works better with less side effects. They may try to get you into therapy or something.

As for doing unusual things, I find that when I am suffering depression, I will think and do things I would not normally do anyway. I wish you the best.