Quote:
Originally Posted by Shadix
Well, because I've seen it before in other "support" communities online. Lets take that dailystrength site that was brought up. On the relationship forum there, a 29 year old guy posted asking for advice about his relationship with his 19 year old girlfriend who it seemed was chatting up other guys. He mostly just got people hating on him for dating a 19 year old. In one reply, this lady literally said "I mean...she's a young girl, of course she's gonna talk to other guys..." basically implying that a guy who dates a younger girl has no business expecting her to be faithful, and then of course she went on to make a comment labeling him as immature or having issues or something like that. Then I remember another guy who was 29 made a post about how he was depressed about not having "played the field" enough and expressing how he wishes he was younger so he could date hot younger girls. Pretty much all the replies to his post were angry women shaming him for being "shallow and immature".
|
Yea, I agree that there are people who are less open-minded. You'll find people like that everywhere you go. My point was, that it was not because of your sob story that we responded in the way we did. I can't speak for everyone, but I would have said the same thing (that age is just a number) because that's just my own personal opinion.
I pointed out that you may have jumped to a conclusion too soon because you don't like it when others jump to conclusions about you right?
The Ladder of Inference - Problem-Solving Training from MindTools.com
The link above is an article about the Ladder of Inference. The theory is that sometimes we make faulty assumptions because we only select evidence & data that will support our beliefs and values.
I think you are rather preoccupied with what you believe your family or other people are going to say about you if you were to approach this girl. But you can't make the assumption before it happens...because then you run the risk of it becoming a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I was by no means guaranteeing that everyone here will share the same opinion about age gaps in relationships. I just hoped to help you spot a thinking pattern that could lead to some nasty arguments. One of my bosses used to tell me in a joking tone "Don't make assumptions, because you'll make an *** out of yourself." I didn't understand that until I really did make an *** out of myself one day.
Hope that article helps. Feel free to ask me questions about it.
