I appreciate your response. I am blessed that I have no assets, and I am happy for our son to remain in the Philippines to continue his schooling under the care of his older brother and grandmother. He still gets plenty of love and affection from both of us and did so all of his life, so he should be OK.

My wife has BPD, is sick, and just needs to stop denying it and to get medical help. I don't have major issues anymore with her and I have learned to forgive and move one. I know she doesn't plan to do damage because I can see the pain in her face when she sees the havoc she wreaks. But still she wreaks it.

She will get over it. My life is complicated at the moment with another person, but I cannot change that. I don't have the gift of singleness, so I have to go against the advice of many, sorry to say. But I am on guard for red flags and determined not to make the same mistake again. Yes, it will not be normal until a divorce is finalized, and it's possible that since I live in Malaysia I can an annulment, which will recognize that the marriage is actually void or a non-starter, in layperson's terms!