I guess the reason why it's looked down upon is that most people, like you, don't want to be in that state. As you say, you have failed to get to where you want to be in that regard. Naturally, mean people will pick on you for that.

Sex is a social thing. To get sex, be more social. To be social, be interested in people and comfortable with them. That latter was EXTREMELY difficult for me, but improvements can be made.