Don't be so hard on yourself...you're human and we all make mistakes! First thing is to forgive yourself! Your fiance was not there for you. Did you do the right thing by having an affair? No, but that's what you did to help yourself feel better. An affair is like a drug...it can become an addiction. You did the right thing by having no contact with K. But honestly, your relationship with A sounds less than fulfilling. If you have to socialize without him the majority of the time, that's a problrm in my mind.

I have been married 25 years and my husband won't go out with me. I go to the movies along, I go to church alone, I've gone to the theater alone, etc., etc. it gets really old!!! We don't have to be joined at the hip, but having a partner for fun is part of being married!

I had an affair that lasted 16 months. I completely fell in love. My affair partner moved out of state for a job, and that's the only thing that stopped it. My husband knows about it. We have talked about it and have gone to counseling. Unfortunately, we are heading towards divorce. Not because of the affair...that was only a symptom of our problems. I have a lot of needs that are not being met in my marriage and that's why I want out.

I have found this website helpful: Marriage Builders ® - Successful Marriage Advice. It has a lot of information on what is required for building a maintaining a successful marriage. Also has info on affairs, how and why they start, getting out of one, and rebuilding your marriage.
I would also suggest couples counseling if your husband will go with you. But the first thing is...forgive yourself!!!! Keep us posted!