Quote:
Originally Posted by feralkittymom
She is the first person that I have had this pattern with, where I have not lost my temper and torn strips off them. I didn't think I was going in there to do that today- I really wanted to stay in control, and be assertive, but not lash out and spit out what I think very savagely. I went too far the other way, and dissolved. Somebody hand me a grip.
IG, this^ is what made me think that your usual pattern of ending relationships is to burn them up. So I was thinking to be able to handle a break-up completely differently might be empowering. My fear is that the emotional backlash from going out "in a blaze of glory" may not be the elation and satisfaction you anticipate, but rather a feeling of self-hatred or defeat. Understand, I don't think she can be of help to you anymore; but I want you to walk away feeling strong, not destabilized.
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I agree with feralkittymom, that how you leave this situation is important for you. I think that the short and to the point method is the best solution for purposes of ending the therapy. When I was in a situation where I decided to leave a therapist who was causing damage I sent a short note, saying just that I felt the therapy wasn't working for me and that I was terminating. I had a lot to say, so much to say, so many feelings about all that had transpired but I wanted to take some time to process everything and put my thoughts in order. And, several weeks later I sent a letter. You might consider this idea. You can take your time to decide if you want to send a letter and what you want to say. I think you have every right to be able to articulate your feelings to her about this. You can do it in a termination letter, if you want, but it doesn't have to be done all at once.
It's all so overwhelming, leaving the therapy and thinking about all that happened and what you want to say. Maybe take it step by step. End the therapy with a quick note. Then begin to write out your feelings about all of it. I don't know if you have plans to see another therapist but if so, you might also consider talking to them about everything. Just think about what would be best for you-now and in the long run. Taking your time doesn't mean that you can't ever express yourself, just that you are thinking of what is best for you, and how you want to handle all of it.
Take care of you.
