CandyBear, it's late but I wanted to respond to you as your post touched my heart. The reason you can't let go is that you always hope it will be better. By letting go of that you are letting yourself know how horrible it was for you. There is a childish sense we have that somehow if we just did this or that things would change. The reality is you are a grown up and what happened is history. It sucks, she's not going to ever nurture and protect you. She has shown you that. So you are in that stuck spot of still wanting to be the good enough child so she will love you. This is my own opinion and I could be full of crap but these are my thoughts. It took me a very long time to sever that relationship. I kept trying to be good enough. Never will be and now the thought of that nasty woman in my life is disgusting beyond comprehension. Glad my kids were not ever exposed to her. mothers are not supposed to abuse, they are supposed to nurture. It's a hard road and you are doing great. Love that answering machine.