The fact that you are trying to get help is a huge step. You should be very proud of yourself for getting this out in the open. I know it is not easy, but you are doing , which is much better than just suffering.

The description of "panic" , to me, signals that you associate physical touching with a high amount of anxiety. Your adrenal gland must be working overtime. Would you consider learning some breathing techniques to help with the tension?

I think being one on one with Baylee is a great idea.

Stay in touch.