I'm feeling a bit strange. The insistence of my "t" of a borderline personality disorder is kind of making me feel worse. I know it is possible, but I also was thinking "I'm just a depressed person that is sensitive and has seen so much of the bad side of life"... that just seems to sum up me. She wants me to accept it. She isn't a psychiatrist or a therapist, she is a psychiatric nurse (that's all our health care covers). It isn't that I'm ungrateful for help, and she knows I'm done with it. I just want a break in life, something to go right for a change. I know I need to step up to the plate but I feel like everything comes down on me and I've suffered enough. It sounds wimpy to me, writing every day here I feel like a wimp. I don't want to be diagnosed as anything. My brother is harsh and says it is all my fault for not taking care of myself. I agree in a way, but I didn't ask for thyroid problems or diabetes, the thyroid was something I didn't control. Diabetes, maybe if I had eaten a better diet. I'm tired of feeling guilty for being too weak to handle everyday things. I just want to vent somewhere. I punched my pillow but it doesn't help much.