I am in between jobs. I work in a freelance field, and my next job doesn't start until July 7th. UGH! At least I have it set up, as of last week I didn't know where my next paycheck would come from. The money on the next job is really good, so I'm not worried financially anymore. It will be tight for the next month and a half, but I won't become homeless...which is a good thing.

The problem is my state of mind right now. Lethargic can't even describe it. I don't want to slip, but not having a job is NOT good for me. I run on self boosts. It's awful to admit, but I need outside "thumbs up" to make me feel good about myself. I am really good at my job, and when people are responding to my work, I feel like I can do anything. But when I'm home, watching movies and doing housework, I feel useless and unimportant. My sleep is %#@&#!, so off kilter. Sometimes I'm up all night and sleep until noon, and sometimes I am so tired at 9 o clock, wake up at 7 the next morning and think "I have nothing to do today. What's the point of waking up now? Then I sleep even longer and become even more lethargic.

I am in the middle of a brutal breakup where I have discovered I want to get back together eventually, but have also realized that it's too late. My father died a year ago this past Saturday. I don't have any friends in this city. and WHY AM I CONCENTRATING ON THE NEGATIVE? I need to stop.

I need to find a way to fill my days...