I am so glad I have this forum to come to share how I really feel. My depression has really been bad this week. I feel like I have to force myself to do everything, and nothing makes me feel better. It's just a heavy weight that is with me all the time.

I think I'm feeling stressed out about the need to get some job, even if it's not what I really want to do, because of pressure from my husband. I'm applying to admin assistant jobs online (and following up with phone calls), even though I'm highly overqualified.

I've been going up to bed very early this week. Just so tired by 7 or so that I can hardly keep my eyes open. Probably overtired from the stress I'm placing on myself with job hunting and worried about getting a job.

Hopefully I can find some satisfaction today with exercising and my horse riding lesson. I've got to find some satisfaction somewhere. Also feeling really crappy because I screwed up on a project at my volunteer position. I haven't told the manager yet. I just started there and don't want her to think I'm incompetent. I really need to focus on the things I'm doing right and the good things I have in my life.