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Old Jan 30, 2015, 08:52 AM
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archipelago archipelago is offline
Grand Poohbah
 
Member Since: Jan 2013
Posts: 1,773
To clear up something, I didn't mean that you take the test with your therapist in mind as the person you are in a relationship with though that is an interesting idea. I don't particularly like this form of the test because not all have the kind of relationship that is assumed and romantic attachment differs to a degree from overall attachment, but it is used as an easy way into the topic.

I see that many got avoidant. I can relate. This was probably my initial attachment style. Therapy has changed it to secure now, but when I'm upset I go back to insecure styles, not necessarily avoidant though. I think with my therapist when we have a fight or something is wrong I become more anxious.

I guess I believe that not only can we change, but we are also capable of having more than one attachment style, depending on the situation and relationship. Attachment doesn't just form in infancy and stop there. It is a life long need that is modified along the way. Apparently our attachment systems fire more quickly than the fight or flight mechanisms so we search for security right away. Perhaps taking the test thinking about what you are like during a state where you are upset might be another way to see how you act in that situation.
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