It's very hard for me to discuss my delusions and paranoia. But I will do so if it may help someone in a similar place. Something inside me wants to protect them because even though I currently know they are not real, part of me always wonders. Sometimes I think people are just waiting for me to talk about some of them so they can laugh and continue doing things to me. It's very complicated.

My last bout of paranoia had me thinking my husband was "one of them" and reporting all my behavior to the people responsible for making me crazy. Alien species who are using me as an experiment. It's very hard to explain. I thought he was transmitting messages via the computer to my tormentors. I thought all my outlets were bugged so I removed the outlet covers throughout the house and inspected them. Even though I realize these are unlikely occurrences, and I'm getting more stable, I'm fearful of admitting my thoughts. Part of me gets upset and how quickly people can dismiss my thoughts as delusions, but the other part of me knows something is not right with my thinking. It's very complicated.

I hope this is helpful. I'm sorry you are having issues and confused.