Normally when I tell my T about my SI, it is after the fact. It's an impulsive behavior, so I'm never really planning it out beforehand. But I do tell him afterwards so that we can talk about it. Or at least acknowledge it. I have never been actively suicidal, but I have had ideation.... I told both my pdoc and my T about this.... when they asked. I was very aware that I was thinking about it from a concept point of view-- I KNEW that I wasn't going to do actually do anything.

I really hope that seeing all the responses helped you to realize that it's ok to tell your T/pdoc about this. Feels awful, I know... BUT IT IS VERY IMPORTANT. I hope you are ok.