Thank you, everyone. Your posts have been very helpful.

My mom also drinks, has an anger problem, and did a job on my self-esteem. She got married in the early '50s, had 4 kids in 5.5 years, and just when she thought it was over, I came along -- my sibs are 8, 10, 12 and 13 years older than me. I have long believed that she was born too soon. She would have made a great career woman. I don't think she would have chosen to have children. At least that is how she makes me feel. She likes to tell people that she planned to take up golf at 35, and got pregnant instead (that would be me). How do you think that makes me feel?!

I'm heartened by the people who said they learned to quit beating their heads against the wall and just accepted that what they wanted won't ever happen. I hope I get there someday.

Thanks everyone. I'm sure glad I found this place!

Candy