Yesterday:

Introductions,,,

Whew. Where do I start? Surely you jest. Okay, I'll try..., if I have to,,, I guess.

It's been a long road from there to here. Been MI since at least the 3rd grade, following a dramatic event. Prior, was known to be extremely [I guess] shy and quiet.

Dx'd @ 17. Been through many professionals. Only thing lacking has been the funny farm. Been on quite the variety of medications. Finally found my drug and for the first time in my life I felt like a 'normal' person. [Wow, did that open my box!]

Through it all I have come up with a bag of tricks that work for me, generally. The most important ones I recall at this time are: Slay my dragons as soon as possible, when they rear their ugly heads. I have learned what is important in my life. I strive to not worry about things I have no control of. I separate myself from toxic ppl, tv shows, situations, etc [garbage in/garbage out], and surround myself with positiveness as much as possible. Does a dog, who's lot in life is to function with only 3 legs complain? They don't whine, so why should I? Like that would get me anywhere.

Deep breathing works well for me, as does blocking visuals, removing myself from loud conversations, what ever it takes to protect me. I practice [though not as frequently as I should] music therapy, candle lit baths, and other relaxing techniques. I fully believe it is possible to retrain our brains to a certain extent.

I do not 'know it all'. Sometimes I fall. Not fail. Life is a journey.

I come here at this time because I have been in a funk since November. Nov/Dec are my most stressful months. That is understandable. What I don't know is why it is not lifting. Of course I can think of a few excuses, but can't pinpoint 'the one'. That is where the difficulty lies. If I can't identify it, I can't try to remedy it. I feel stuck.
I hope this forum will become a place to come home to when it seems no one could understand. If I have anything to offer others, that might help them, I'm up for that too.

Today may have been totally different, as will be tomorrow. I think I may be in a frozen to mixed state. Isolating, bored, unsure, stuck, not much to feel exited about, etc.

I may not be perfect, but I am Unique.