Quote:
Originally Posted by SkyscraperMeow
Well I don't know about IG, but I'd be confused by a lot of the feedback here. In one breath she's being told to take stock of her feelings, terminate with her therapist and take control of the situation. In the next, she's being warned not to 'burn bridges'.
Some bridges need to be torched. Ones that lead to sloppy manipulative so called therapists should be burned until there's not a cinder left.
All that really matters is that you, IG, do what you need to do for yourself. To be honest, you don't really need 7 -8 pages of forum feedback to make this decision. You know what to do. So do it, and then find a therapist worthy of you.
Oh and PS, I don't want to throw another spanner in the works but the relationship you've described with your therapist up until this point does not comprise love. Love does not leave you anxious, desperate, clinging, confused and afraid. Ever.
When someone loves you, you will feel comforted, secure and safe. What you had with your therapist was dysfunctional attachment clothed in the trappings of care.
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Thank you, it is very confusing. But it's not that simple - I don't know what to do. In one breath I think I do and in the next it's gone and I am totally flummoxed.
A person with BPD like me can - unintentionally - be incredibly emotionally manipulative and really tap into people's feelings. I don't mean to do it but I think I did, in this case.
Even my friend and colleague, who read the exchange between me and my ex therapist said despite wanting to slap my therapist for being such a ****, that the way I worded my messages was very borderline. The bit where I said there was 'too much space between us' and 'I know it doesn't matter to you' - she said I was responding to my ex T as if she was an ex girlfriend, and I think she has a valid point. I don't have a realistic view of this therapist - a fair chunk of that is the therapist's own fault in a way, for having no boundaries, but also it's my fault too because I'm a big girl and should have realized there were boundaries, even if they were invisable.