My mom and I had a very Codependent relationship growing up, when I was a kid I lived to please my mom and make sure she was happy. As I ventured into adulthood any form of growing up or making adult decisions was met with hostility. It started with verbal ish abuse, I asked to go to and under 18 club with my friend and her dad worked there, I was told I didn't have the right clothes and wouldn't know what to do there I was 17 at the time. A week later my sister was allowed to go to a foam party at a under 21 club, she was 14. It got progressively physical. At first intimation and she would corner me. I have vivid memories of my moms teeth and flared nostrils while being yelled at. When I was in college (I went to a local comunity college) I had really stupid homework it was basicly busy work in a blow off class and it wasn't due for a week, well for some reason there were 2 neighbor kids chasing each other thru the house and I couldn't concentrate so I started to put the homework away. My mom freaked out, she screamed I had to do it then, that she wasn't paying 15,000 dollars for me to fail (that is not how much school was and I was paying my own way that year, also my parents always told me they would put me thru college until they got divorced then it was a 3rd each) well I tried to walk away and she grabbed my arm hard, scratching me drawing blood. Nothing crazy but I still have a 3 inch scar on my for arm and had to field questions for weeks until it healed, I even had a friend sit me down thinking I had done it to myself. She's hit me on my head really hard then been mad when my eyes welled with tears. Once I had went to get my hair done and hung out with my sister after, I do live far from my fam but never made plans with my mom that day, anyways we went over and she hit me hard on my head because ... Honestly I can't even remember why, but I was 6 months pregnant at the time. She mostly grabs arms smacks my head and tries to intimmadate to gain control but is this typical?

Sorry it's been a strange couple months dealing with this. I want to have some kind of relationship with her, I have 2 babies, I'm a new mom and I've never wanted to keep my mom from my kids but I can't have her in my life if she wants to try and control me.