They were an 18 and under club and a 21 and under club. The 21 and under club was shut down just weeks after this for shady reasons. I wouldn't have let my 14 yearold go to the 21 and under club either, I did say something to my mom about it, she told me I was jealous that my sister was living her life.... If my 17 year old wants to go to a dance club that's 18 and under, and I know that her friends parent is gonna be there I would let her go. I wasn't a rebelish kid, I have never done any drugs of any kind, I didn't swear until I was in my 20s, still rarely drink and when I do I don't drink to get drunk. My goa was never under a 3.0, I did my homework and studied. The only time I drank in my teens was at the insistence of my mom, she thought I would end up with a spiked drink and get taken advantage of.

like I said its a compacted relationship. It's just that it seams every time I try and do anything a normal adult would do its met with hostility, and if I say that this is my life (I'm in my late 20s now) she flips it telling me that I'm acting like a child. Even when it's something random. I bought some new clothes, my mom sees me and says "didn't they have it in black?" I say "they did but I wanted color" (said with a smile on my face not in anyway sarcastic or mean) she huffed away. I don't know, the Im issue is my sibling and i have been to protective of my mother. She can be horrible to us but the min some one asks a question that could be offensive (how much she drinks, why she stopped gardening, etc) we evade the question and help her save face. It's a really stupidly complicated relationship. But so now that I'm not putting up with this insanity I'm being treated like I'm slandering her good name, just by not taking her crap, or just not lying anymore.

She is never around my kids alone, I just feel bad she keeps comparing herself to all these other people her age that are grandparents (some of them are really not nice people) but my mom tends to have this belief that bad people shouldn't be happy. My father and her are divorced and any time he does anything "fun" or takes a "trip" she gets really upset, like irrationally upset. They have been divorced 14 years. I don't know what Im trying to say. This just sucks,

I've been reading about Adult Child, Parent relationships, Emotional Manipulation, narcissism and codependency. We fall some where in there, def in the emotional manipulation category. Just trying to figure out how to handle this situation. If I don't figure out how to set up good boundries and keep her at arms reach then I won't be able to ever enjoy my home town.