I was told I probably have bp several times in my 20's but I didn't want to believe it. But after I gave birth at 21 I had always been on an AD and a sleep med like doxepin or trazadone. That's when the docs think my bp started.

Then when I was 36 I went into a very scary psychosis. Didn't eat or sleep for 5 days. Ended up in the hospital and was diagnosed with bp 1 and PTSD. Was in for about 10 days, than I left but ended up back in for another 7-10 days bc I was still incredibly manic.

Well now I can totally see and accept that I have bp. It sucks, but you can learn to live with it. And I'll tell you being on the right meds can really help.

I think you should see if you qualify for Medicaid. I really think you need to be evaluated by a psychiatrist.