It felt nice when I understand youīve read several of my posts here at PC and that youīve thought about what my posts may say about me. I agree with you about being afraid but at the same time I donīt understand the fear.
Of course I donīt want another termination but I think it also has to do with another more deep kind of fear. I canīt explain it myself though.
Iīve met several T:s now and even if Iīm afraid I have the capacity to see both good and bad and Iīve been in sessions that just made me feel unseen and uncomfortable. That diminishes my hope immediately and gives me high levels of anxiety.
I will choose one of the T:s Iīve now met, perhaps Iīll meet a few more and Iīll also have to say no to a couple of T:s that could have been the right match. That also makes me feel uneasy and anxious as I donīt want to waste more of my time on this and on feeling bad. Iīm scared my life will never get better.
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Originally Posted by JaneTennison1
I could be wrong but I feel a real sense of fear in your posts. What I hear is a lot of what if the T doesn't understand me/sex or what if the T is untrustworthy and now I need more than a T can give.
Searching for a new T must be terrifying. But you are putting up a lot of walls to things you can't control and that haven't happened. (and I feel you on this as I do it too. All. The. Time). Why not try it with the person you feel most comfortable with and see what the results are. You will probably never find someone who can help you right away but try not to let fear block something that has the power to be good.
Sending you hugs.
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