I'm going to keep this as brief as possible. When my husband and I were dating, I got along with his family very well and his grandmother absolutely adored me. The minute we announced our engagement, something happened and all of the sudden, people had a problem with me. My husband and I had been dating for 5 years before we got married. His grandmother started to claim that I was demonic (which was kind compared to what she called the other people who dared to marry her grandchildren). His mother started becoming incredibly demanding and harsh toward me as a result. My husband went absolutely insane and there was a big fight between him and his family because they were driving him crazy with their constant criticisms that just didn't happen when we were only dating. My sister-in-law's husband basically told me that he thought he family just hated anyone who married into the family. Probably true, to be honest.

Well, years later, my husband and I had a falling out after he punched me badly enough to cause me injury. We separated and I started to relapse on my PTSD progress. My husband was embarrassed and frustrated by the situation because he let his anger get out of control and my condition for even CONSIDERING getting back together with him was that he go to therapy to address the way he handled conflict and anger. He agreed and saw a therapist twice a week to specifically address his anger. I was really struggling with my PTSD and at a point, attempted suicide. My husband's family, being the kind of people they are, used that as an opportunity to tell my husband that I was vile for "forcing" him to seek therapy (presumably if he wasn't with me, they believed he didn't have an anger problem despite the fact that he had a history of trouble handling conflict which his sister had the same problem doing - which they both got frim their mother). They also said I was unsuitable for life with him and that he had to divorce me. He was living with them at the time, so it was really hard for him to hear it. It put pressure on the both of us that we didn't need.

My husband moved back in with me and we started seeing a couple's counselor, which helped a lot. I started getting more aggressive with my PTSD treatment, but kept hitting the same walls when it came to exposure therapy because it is very difficult to do. He had no contact with his family for over a year mostly because his mother was angry that he reconciled with me and did not divorce me. This was a huge point of conflict for my husband's family and a hugely sore spot for my husband. Eventually, his mother decided that she didn't like being the only one raising hell and called a truce. I agreed to try with them only because it made me a little depressed to see how much the conflict hurt my husband. We do have regular contact with his family now, but I can't help but resent them for how awful they just are.

Now, my husband and I are expecting our first child and we're figuring out what we want to try to do about day care down the line. I am not going to quit my job and neither is he. We will both be taking some kind of maternity/paternity leave right after the baby is born, but then we have to figure out what to do from there. My mother in law said that she could watch the baby one day a week, which is nice and I think she would genuinely be on her best behavior. She hates her daughter's husband too, but manages to be good with her grandchildren.

But then, my mother in law suggested that we allow HER mother to watch the baby. It took everything in me to not say "HA HA HA.... NO." My husband's grandmother is an absolutely terrible person and I don't even want her to be around my children at all, let alone unsupervised. It's a difficult subject to broach because my mother in law doesn't want to see that at all. Anytime my husband or I has tried to explain why we don't go visit her and have no interest or desire to do so, she LOSES HER MIND. She just will not understand why we do not want our impressionable, delicate baby aound a vicious person. I know his grandmother is going to want to hold the baby if she ever sees it and will want to babysit. How on earth do I approach the subject without causing World War 3 OR putting myself or my child in a position to feel uncomfortable and unsafe?