I was married to a guy for 33 years who I would ask to do something & he would agree, then he would never do it. Or if he did do it he would mess it up so bad I would end up having to take care of it myself.

He would also say he was going to do something when not even asked & he would never do that either.

It's no wonder our marriage was nothing but a constant battle.....I didn't have tolerance for his behavior & he claimed that he didn't do it on purpose. It was so irritating.....tried to tolerate it but it became impossible after I lost my career & couldn't hide from the marriage any longer.

Sort of along the passive aggressive lines.....he when he would get information he would hide it from me until I managed to find out & confront him about it. When asked why he didn't communicate all I would get was "I don't know"

NEVER an apology for his behavior either. Guess he felt that because he didn't do it on purpose that he didn't owe anyone an apology.

I was seeing red by the time I finally left but leaving & moving 2100 miles away was the best thing I ever did in my life.....& all communication from that point on had to be in writing what little he communicated.

Oh yes, after I left, I asked for specific things to be sent to me....you would think that if you wondered what the item was that you would ask or take a photo & email it asking if this was what I meant.....NOPE....I got many items that were entirely wrong because he was so sure that he was sending me what I asked for (or maybe just to lazy to bother checking).

After 33 years of "I didn't do it on purpose" it seriously felt like the behavior was seriously ON PURPOSE.

I have since come to realize that there are some syndroms that do come across in some areas of their behavior as passive aggressive even though the person actually isn't. That has eased my anger but it hasn't made me want to go back to living around that behavior.