i saw T today. it was productive but hard. we talked about former T and sex. i told him some things and i began to cry and i didnt wanna cry. we talked for a good while but then i started dissociating and i basically left the room mentally. it was like an emotional flashback. i felt comfortable talking to T about former T and sex. but after a while the memories came in like a flood and i drifted away. i feel better now more alive but still kinda out there. i texted T afterwards and said its hard to talk about that stuff but im glad we are doing it. he said good.