Well I never thought I'd be coming here and saying this and trying not to feel bad for feeling good, but I had a good day, and I feel good right now.
Dad has been unwell, but I think he may pull through fine.. He was out of breath after feeding the horses today, but he didn't seem bad later on. I got to see the beautiful horses, one is dying, she has lost much weight, but I fed her extra apples (delicious), and her eyes were like "wow, what is this, it's winter and I'm getting an apple"..... and my princess who isn't trained, Lily is, well, she got up the nerve not to let Lily boss her into not coming in the barn. Lily is a barrel racing horse, so she is the boss of them.
Oh how I love horses and wish I had taken an interest in them when they were all there. I don't want to know that soon the farm will be gone, but I'm accepting it. I choose to bring some peace into the home now, and live for these moments forgetting what lies behind. I made my mom laugh, she hugged and kissed me and said something really nice in dutch. My dad told me stories about his life on the way home, that I'd never heard. He knows I'm proud of him. There is always a way to make things better and it is never too late until it's over.
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