right at this very moment fuzzy i hate her and thatis not good. dontlike the word hate. she's always been selfish always put herself before anyone including me her ONLY child.

i come second to a dog now. i feel so cut up. i could quite happily get a kitchen knife and cut my wrists to shreds right now but i wont and you know why? because i love my kids and i wouldn't do that to them and i'm not a self harmer. but i feel like it my god i do.

jin