Dude, you are ABSOLUTELY RIGHT to be concerned about this guy. I wouldn't trust him one damn bit.

I dunno what it is with women not understanding the fact that men see other men as threats, especially when there is a complicated history behind this guy.

I'm sorry to say that I think you're in a very tough situation. In the ideal world, where divorces would be as easy as saying "Goodbye", I would explain things to the wife and take off. Sounds like a radical solution, and I'm not suggesting you do this, but that's what I would do.

No matter how much you love your wife and how special she is, you don't deserve having to put up with this guy, and your wife really should know better.

I realize, obviously, that the fact that you have a child with her really complicates matters even more. Divorces can be tough on little ones.

Playing devil's advocate, looking on the other side of things, what is the likelihood of your wife cheating on you with this guy ? And, how intrusive is he in your relationship ? If not much, perhaps you could just settle for the fact that, even though this guy is someone you despise, he poses no realistic threat.

I don't know the details, so I can't say how much of a threat he is. I think your wife's body language when around him will be the biggest indicator of this. This entirely depends on your wife. If she lets that guy in, he'll march on in. If not, maybe you can just live with it ?

Regardless, I know that this is a $#!tty situation and I would be very much concerned too. I wish you the best, pal.