The insidious part of the disorder is its ability to impair your view of what really matters to you. You can know yourself, know what you love, know what you need to do, but you've got this beehive of chaos swarming around you or a dark cloud weighing you down. I find that if I just sit down and separate my identity from my disorder than I can feel free and think along the lines of this post. I have bipolar disorder, I AM NOT bipolar disorder. The distinction takes constant reminding form me.