My medicine wasn't working last night at all. Boy was I an emotional train wreck for hours until I exhausted myself and fell asleep at around 7ish. Then I woke up at around 5 fully refreshed. I hope I don't have another day like that!

Also, something weird is going on with me mentally. Yesterday, I didn't feel any pleasure at all. It's like the SSRI is working by taking away all pleasure but not any of the negative emotions all with it. I even drank a beer which normally helps and I didn't feel a thing. I went through an entire day without a single positive emotion.

What's weird is that I can still feel music, unlike last time I was on the med. Not in a positive sense of course, just a negative one. I felt ticked off most of my day. I need to see my doctor. I need some stability and positive emotions in my life. I'm scared that my new med combo will take away my positive emotions with my negative ones like last time. There is hope though. I'm changing my anti psychotic to Abilify, which is a dopamine Agonist that treats SZ.

God, I don't know if you're up there but please don't take my emotions from me. I need them.