Originally papers were filed in September of 2006, but were put on hold. (Although, it never appeared on the state records as being filed. My childhood friend works for the D.A. and has access.)
He "said" he wanted to work at it, but as usual after 3 sessions with my therapist he quit. His reason for not going to the last session was he would get up and leave if he became mad, but that was the point for the whole exercise the doc had given us. We were to write down anything that caused us much pain through the marriage, what we would charge the person with and then the sentence. The whole point of the exercise was to release any anger either one of had harbored! Needless to say my therapist said from his initial meeting alone with my husband he noted he had anger issues.
As the months rolled along many demands were placed on me to which I met with all the strength God gave me. I never knew from one day to the next and if I did/said something he did not like then I was wrong. His opinion is not a fact and although I manage my illness now I still have crying spells from time to time. He told our boys that if I took my medicine the bp would go away, don't I wish!
The day after my b'day 3/10, which was Sunday he had stated the day before he would pick us up for church at 8:00. I was so excited because he had not asked before and rather than picking us up he left a message at 8:00 stating his mother wanted him to ride with her and his brother visiting. I learned this at 8:20 when the boys called to see where he was and I could not believe it. I went ahead and went on my own telling our boys I forgave their dad. He asked us about the movies and I said yes we would go. Wellllll, he never showed to pick us up for that either since he could not reach us by phone. Okay whatever!
I learned later that week he had gone ahead and spoke with his attorney about pushing forward with the divorce, but to date it still does not show on state records. We have even had a court appearance at the first of May to update the judge on our separation and was informed he is pushing for full custody. That is a joke, because he did not become an active father until last year when he started thinking of divorce. It was then he attended his first PTA meeting and our oldest is 14! Suddenly he became involved one of our son's hobby of paintball to which he had never attended any of his scout stuff.
He has figured out that our children are not a chore and are actually a lot of fun to be with as I already knew. I must add that right before I was diagnosed in 2004 we discussed me quitting work because at the time things were hectic and the more money one makes the more one spends. He liked me being here for him and the boys. I loved being with them too and never had worked full time since having them. In February of this year I was given a deadline to find a job by the end of the month. I was scared to death, but knew I had to overcome this and get a job or lose my family. On March 3rd I was notified I was hired at a locally owned business making $12 hr, 7:30-12:30 Mon-Fri. I was so excited for many reason and started March 5th. Once I began drawing a check I began helping financially paying for the children's fieldtrips, etc.
Suddenly last month without warning he said he wanted to divorce after telling me two days prior he thought we had a chance, not to panic and if he came home certain things would change. I agreed, because before I had spent recklessly and did not allow him to be head of the household. I knew what God was telling me and honoring him as well as him protecting me was His will.
I have told him that I will not sign anything, because he is not being fair and that his opinion is not a fact. Not to mention every demand placed in front of me I accomplished and do not stop each day. I attend my doc meetings, have organization going in the house and my intuition is to keep up the good fight.
A few weeks ago I was "let go" from my job because there had been several times I had problems with the kids being sick, etc. Our youngest son had to miss school as punishment after telling my boss which was a hemmorhoid anyway said he did not think it would work out. I agreed and left with my held high.
Even now with all the heart ache I have I know what God has put within me to fight and let Him handle it.