I wonder how many people struggle with shame, how, and for what reasons. I am feeling it really painfully and it almost seems like I feel shame in my very existence. I can trace the roots of that to an almost complete absence of care in early life. And then compounded by trauma, which seems to involve shame, though when I really try to figure that out, it doesn't really make sense.

I looked up shame because it feels like a state rather than an emotion. I found this:

Gershen Kaufman summed up many of the consequences of shame in one paragraph of his book on the psychology of shame:[19]

...shame is important because no other affect is more disturbing to the self, none more central for the sense of identity. In the context of normal development, shame is the source of low self-esteem, diminished self image, poor self concept, and deficient body-image. Shame itself produces self-doubt and disrupts both security and confidence. It can become an impediment to the experience of belonging and to shared intimacy....It is the experiential ground from which conscience and identity inevitably evolve. In the context of pathological development, shame is central to the emergence of alienation, loneliness, inferiority and perfectionism. It plays a central role in many psychological disorders as well, including depression, paranoia, addiction, and borderline conditions. Sexual disorders and many eating disorders are largely disorders of shame. Both physical abuse and sexual abuse also significantly involve shame.

Also, "...shame has been found to be a very strong predictor of Posttraumatic Stress Disorder...".[20]