Quote:
Originally Posted by A Red Panda
My family life definitely had an impact on my AvPD-like thoughts and behaviours.
My dad was relatively absent and my mom ran our family like a business. There wasn't any affection shown, there were high expectations set for behaviour and achievement (add to this a level of sexist gender roles so expectations for me were much higher than for my brother), no praise (only time I've heard good things about myself has been when my mom talks to other people about me and basically is using me as a trophy of herself and how great she is...), my mom and brother are both rather explosive and aggressive, I didn't have the same sorts of interests as my peers, my family was essentially the 'black sheep' on both sides of the family for different reasons, etc etc etc.
It's just how it went.
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Then we have a lot in common... my father ran and still runs the family as a business. Expectations were always higher for me than my sister, except I wasn't much of a trophy
. All that pressure destroyed me, I developed a fear of failure. Had a lot of problems in college. I couldn't study even when I tried very hard, but I pulled through somehow.
When I graduated, my father bragged to people about me getting a degree. He only had good words about me and my achievements. When we were alone he would say the worst things about me. My father bragging about me IN FRONT of me felt REALLY AWKWARD. I always just stood there like an idiot not having anything to say because of his lies.
Edit: I didn't mention this because I forgot about it. These things just pilled up over the years... difficult to remember so many things.