i woke up and i feel like ive lost my motivation. i dont feel the same these past few days as i have been feeling the past few months. idk... i just feel like life is just...crap now.

im really sick of being sick and everyone treats me like they dont notice. idk...maybe its cause im hiding my struggles and only talk about it here and on my blog/vlog...idk. i dont talk about it to anyone else.

im really tired and hurt by having been through so much and havent gotten much help or support. ive only gotten it from my dad and he doesnt even really understand this stuff. he doesnt even understand depression. apparently he says hes never been depressed. (he said this in the past).

i just im tired of people having the littlest issues and everyone comes running to them yet all that ive been through and im still alone.

ive realized im the only person thats helping myself and i cant do it on my own...
...its not even working...