(this is me kinda thinking out loud, so sorry if it doens't make sense)

I've kinda been thinking about this myself this past week because i am starting work with a new T, and need to figure out what is best to help keep me on track with things.
Would it be helpful for you to find a T that offers outside contact in the form of an agency-run or T-affiliated crisis line? I ask because the T I see now works at an agency that also has an in-house crisis line. My gut reaction is not to want to talk to strangers when in crisis, least of all over the phone (I really struggle with being able to speak about things, and it's harder to understand I'm struggling with saying things over the phone than to just think I'm being silent because I have nothing to say). When T again offered that I call the crisis line if I need anything between sessions, I cringed. But now I'm wondering if that's not a good way to mediate some of the contact boundaries. I know T will only check her vm when she is in the office. I know there's no way to contact her if she is not physically at work. I'm sure this helps them maintain boundaries and keep from getting overwhelmed (they exclusively work with trauma clients. Because it's a grant-funded & state-run agency, they have limited staff with huge case-laods). I think it also might help clients spread the attachement/trust out a bit. As archipelago mentioned, there really isn't a way to predict or schedule trauma reactions. For me, there's a measure of self-regulation going on because of the hesitation around contacting a crisis line about "stupid" things (though I categorize most of my desires to reach out as "stupid"). But if I do contact them, T will get an update and we can work on that in session too. It keeps me from wearing T thin on my neediness, but also still allows me to reach out... I think. This is all just me thingking out loud, and may not make any sense or fit your situation. I also know that things where you live are run differently, so I'm not sure this is even an option... but wanted to throw it out there for ya.

I think when we go from having to be totally self-reliant, to learning that it's ok to need from others, there's a point of disarray and swinging wildly to the other extreme of total helplessness before we settle back in the middle-ground. And it can take a long time, especially if T's change and boundaries change. I know I've been struggling with this concept of "reaching out" for going on 5 years... but it came after 30 years of having learned to not trust anyone else and not reach out. I guess 5 years in the grand scheme of things isn't all that long.