Hi! I just joined this forum, specifically for help with questions about treatment and some support with coping skills. I didn't see a specific forum for questions about treatment, so I'm posting here. Any help is appreciated... particularly advice on long-term inpatient treatment.

I have spent a lot of time in psychiatric units over the last year... something like 3, ranging from 2 weeks to 3 days (so short, I believe, because I checked myself in). However, I still just can't function in daily life. I'm diagnosed with bipolar disorder, borderline personality disorder, PTSD, social and generalized anxiety disorder, and a panic disorder (that list will make anyone a little hopeless, right?).

In the past, most of my worst episodes were due to mania... but, now, I'm dealing with a horrible, long-lasting depression. I simply don't know how to deal with it psychologically. With the mania, I kind of learned how to recognize when it was going to get really bad... but not with this. I literally sit in bed or on the couch all day staring at the wall... no music, no tv, no book, nothing... just staring at the wall. My head carries enough entertainment on it's own. I've lost SO MANY JOBS because of my horrible panic disorder that I've just given up hope that I'll ever be able to hold one... which, obviously, causes horrible issues with loved ones, even when they're trying their very best to help and understand. I am lucky in that area.

The last year has brought me a lot of trauma and change. There are so. many. different. things. that have gone down, and I'm coping in extremely, err, "self-depricating If I need to expand on that I can, but I figured that's more for the support group forums.

Anyway, DOWN TO MY REAL POINT: I need help deciding if I should enter a long-term treatment program, and if so, I'd love ideas on where to go and/or how to research these programs. I'd prefer somewhere not too ridiculously far from my home in Northwest Florida (driving/day trip distance) because I need my family as involved as possible. My main problem is finding somewhere that is not state-run and finding out what kind of rules these facilities have.
Are there any where you're allowed a cell phone or internet access?
Could I bring my guitar, even though it has steel strings?
Do any allow access to music 24/7?
Are there any that allow leave-of-absence for an extended period of time or certain days of the week?
Would any allow online college classes?
And cigarrettes... when I'm manic, I need my cigarrettes.

Note: I've been through long-term drug rehab, and it was DETRIMENTAL to my treatment... but, then again, my counselor told me and my family that I was flat out lying about a sexual assault by a family member. It was insane. Point being, I know that some programs are great and will work with individual theraputic needs (music and my guitar), while others just don't really pay that much attention and just go through the motions.

End note: Because I know it will be asked, yes, my doctor has mentioned long-term programs... yes, I have tried pretty much every medication in the book... all of the doctors are out of ideas... and I've had multiple suicide attempts just in the last 6 months (I think that comes with the borderline).

Has anyone been in a long-term facility before and willing to describe your experience?

Thanks and sorry for the length. Private messages always welcome.