Hey, I know I haven't been on this site for a long time (like a really long time) but I have no one and no where to talk about this so here it goes. Please excuse my rant and how I put it in words I'm not in my best state of mind right now.
I have a new job, which happens to be my first actual job, and I say new only because its how it feels, I've been there for 6 months now. Needless to say I hate it, its boring and I don't like the people I work with, mostly because I don't like people in general, they're not really that bad. From day one it felt WEIRD (for lack of a better word) being around people ALL the time was driving me crazy, having to explain everything I do or say, again its probably my not liking people or not being used to them thats the problem. Everyday I try my best to get through the day and hope it'll get easier tomorrow but it doesn't. I try really hard to get the job right, anxiety making it even harder settle in this place. Then today, just when I thought I got things under control, the worst thing imaginable happens, I screw up and forget something and some people come yelling at me ( I honestly don't even know if thats justified or not, I don't feel fit to judge anymore). But thats not the worst part, the worst part is I freaking cried in the office like an idiot and I couldn't stop, I still can't believe it, I feel sick and ashamed and I have no idea how I'm going to go back there tomorrow. If anyone has had similar issues coping with work, I'd really appreciate some advice on how to deal with this because I've got nothing.