I've been to one AA meeting this week and really felt out of place. I then went to an NA meeting on Friday & Saturday this week. I felt more at home but still like an outsider. Fridays meeting was the only one that I went sober. Maybe that's why I enjoyed it more.

But what about all my hesitation due to the legalization light I can see at the end of the tunnel? Another question. If I go, and participate, and get clean with the thought in the back of my head 'I'll smoke again some day'... How can I look at those around me trying to help me in the eyes? Better yet how do I rationalize it to myself? I guess what I'm really asking is, if I can't say without a doubt that I don't have any intention of smoking again, should I even go to the meetings? Won't I just be toxic to the group?

Does anyone think I could pull an elder aside and ask these specific questions? I mean mentioning pot & all because I noticed no one really mentions their drug of choice.